some facebook rules

1.  Do not post pictures of babies on facebook.  Do not post a picture of your own baby, and definitely not a picture of someone else’s baby.  When I post a picture of a friend, my friend has the agency to ask me to take it down.  A baby does not.
I declare: Creepy.

2.  Do not make vague updates that beg follow up.  For example, “Catherine is so sad today…”  When I was 12 I thought that was a clever way to ensnare attention, but now we are grown-ups and it is transparent.
I declare: Pathetic.

3.  Don’t upload batches of pictures of only yourself.  In any given album, the ratio of you to your friends should be 1:4; otherwise it’s uncomfortably obvious you love yourself too much.
I declare: Pathetic and Creepy.

Surely, more to follow.

things I almost posted about today

1. Battlestar Galactica series finale on Friday night was incredible.

2. I’m still waiting for the next Ender’s Game: Battle School comic to come out.  I don’t think I like comic books only because I’m incredibly impatient.

3. I’m re-listening to all 52 glorious hours of Lord of the Rings on CD this weekend.

But then I realized I didn’t have anything cool to post about, since I’m clearly a gigantic nerd, and gave up.

things that piss me off

• When people named Christina call themselves Xtina. Also, when people call Christmas x-mas.
• When people misunderstand the “she and I” vs. “me and her” rules.
• People who think “wading in the shallow end of the gene pool” jokes are fresh and witty.
• People who like to play “the devil’s advocate” as a way of wussing out on what they really think.
• On PostSecret, when people add “I’m [some age]” at the end, like it makes their confession so much more powerful. Unless it’s “I fuck bears for fivers (I’m 11)” I don’t care how old you are; you sound like a douchebag trying to spice up a boring secret.
• Everyone who stands outside Caracas. Everyone.

I’m pretty into being a college graduate.

So far, it’s pretty sweet. Here’s what I did today:

• Woke up late
• Browsed Jezebel, Kotaku, io9, and the NY Times
• Took a walk
• Applied to three jobs
• Bought an HDMI cable and extra ps3 controller
• Ate lunch
• Applied to four more jobs
• Watched The Prestige on Bluray with Tess
• Ate sashimi
• Haggled a $175 dollar purse to $50 by utilizing a cunning combination of charm and intimidation
• Played some social Guitar Hero III
• Played Civilization: Revolution for four hours by myself
• Read a few chapters of Into Thin Air

Life is good right now. The jobs I’m applying to all sound sort of fun. We’ll see how that pans out.

PS-The PS3 is the sickest thing ever. I’ll geekpost about it later.

unamused

Things people think are really funny but actually aren’t:

Stephen Colbert pretending to be a conservative pundit. Newsflash: Satire isn’t mind-blowingly edgy and fresh. It’s cool, but it’s kind of old news.

Owen Wilson playing that same old stoner/new age dude and making that same old stoner/new age dude face he thinks looks really great.

Using any variation on “Lorem ipsum” in your “about me” profile. I get it. It’s a comment about the construct of communal identity and the manner is which it subverts…zzzzzz. Shut up. You’re boring.

Pirates vs. ninjas facebook groups. Pirate and ninja parties. Pirates and ninjas on youtube. If you can come up with one good reason why talking about/pretending to be either a pirate or a ninja is cool other than the fact that they’re “omg so awesome” then maybe I’ll consider the possibility of not thinking you’re an idiot.

On that note, anything related to, associated with, or referencing Chuck Norris.

When bloggers make posts about something and then somehow reference how creepy/lecherous/inept they themselves are to cover the fact that they don’t have anything worthwhile to add to the one sentence filler-post they just posted about. See: thesuperficial.com, geekologie.com, iwatchstuff.com.

Being a sexist asshole on digg.com. Not funny, even if you’re not actually sexist. Except you are, so it’s moot. Even less funny.

Crappily obvious genre satires: The Comebacks, Walk Hard, Not Another Teen Movie, Scary Movie, etc: BAD. Shawn of the Dead, The Host, Best in Show: Good. These are movies that work within the genre they parody, which means they’re smart which means they are actually funny. They are not plotless excuses to watch Anna Farris make faces and fall over.

And I don’t mean to beat a dead horse, but I still hate Will Farrell and Vince Vaughn. Also, Steve Carrel is over-rated. There. I said it.

Best Names

I was talking to my dad today and the topic of ridiculous names came up. You know, sometimes you’re introduced to someone and you’re just wondering what was going on with their parents? Here are my favorites.

A friend of my dad’s from elementary school was named Clark Kempf. To the parents.. really? That clueless? Like, Kempf isn’t that crazy of a name but if you’re going to name your kid Clark…? Dude.

Sargent Pepper was a kid I had a few encounters with growing up. His dad played tennis with my dad and somehow I “stole” his kayak. Sarge. Well, the parents had a sense of humor. Or they lost a bet.

The accountant for one of the larger benefactors of my parent’s nonprofit organization is named, no joke, Niel Dollarhide. Why… why would you choose to be an accountant. WHY.

My favorite though, is one of my father’s good friends from high school, Bob Bonapart. His full name? Robert E. Lee Bonapart IV. With a name like that I’m surprised he’s not ruling the world already. He’s probably just biding his time.

Taking stock

Movers came yesterday and took all my furniture to Long Island, where I’ll be spending most of the summer. However, I still have class and exams through next week. My lease runs out April 1 so until then I am still here, in my empty apartment, chillin’.

I have:

• A suitcase of clothes
• Paper plates, bowls, and cups
• Internet access and my laptop
• A bible and a few other books for my New Testament exam
• Special K and milk
• Diet Coke
• A pillow, a blanket, and a bedroll
• Toiletries and a towel
• My Nintendo DS
• Two tennis rackets
• A pair of umbrellas
• A toothache, a canker sore, a sore throat, a stiff back, and a crappy attitude

Something Rotten

Amanda made the plans and set the agenda.

I enjoyed the ride.

I spent my Spring Break in Denmark. I’m still vaguely jetlagged so it feels quite late for me right now but I figured I’d do a little post now and perhaps a post later about the trials and tribulations of traveling home. It was a good time. We did a lot of sightseeing though I can’t remember/spell most of what we saw. A highlight was going to Kronborg Slot–Hamlet’s Castle. The weather was beautiful (for Copenhagen, which I understand is usually warmer and rainier than NY) and was ideal for wandering. You can see pictures on my facebook album or for a more extensive look, on my Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/catherineweiss/

Things I noticed while in Denmark:

• Nobody jaywalks. Ever.
• It’s safe to assume everyone speaks English, often better than you do.
• Everyone has a bicycle. And they stop at red lights and form a line. It is madness.
• Diet Coke has calories.
• People don’t listen to iPods on the street.
• In restaurants, you often pay as soon as you order and you don’t tip.

Also, Amanda and I had a kick-ass soundtrack for the week. Here’s a list.

• Monster Mash, Dr. Demento
• Wild Wild West, Will Smith
• It Wasn’t Me, Shaggy
• Livin’ La Vida Loca, Ricky Martin
• La Bamba, Richie Valens
• True To Your Heart, 98 Degrees and Stevie Wonder

Clearly, Oscars Should Be Decided By Me

Today the nominations for the Amademy Awards were announced. This year hasn’t been great for me actually seeing a lot of movies (getting my color sync done took time… also I live farther away from movie theaters this year, and I’m pretty lazy so… you get the point) but I’m going to post my mostly uninformed opinions anyway.

Best Picture
Babel-Haven’t seen it, but I have a feeling people are tired of Crash-ish movies and it won’t win.
The Departed-I’m in the middle of watching it on peekvid.com. I will update this once I’m finished.
Letters From Iwo Jima-I haven’t seen it but Marcos really liked it and he has good taste, so I bet it’s good.
Little Miss Sunshine-I really enjoyed it, but I’m not sure it’s Oscar material. The ending I thought was trite, but I usually like to hope that comedies win because I’m tired of epics and period pieces.
The Queen-I haven’t seen it, but Marcos liked that one too. Netflix wooo! It’s the sort of thing seeing in theaters wouldn’t have enhanced anyway. Yay rationalization. I’m going to venture a guess that this will be the pick.

Best Actor
Leonardo DiCaprio in Blood Diamond-I haven’t seen it but Leo is… Leo.
Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson-Again, I haven’t seen it but I really like him, so I’ll probably be rooting for him.
Peter O’Toole in Venus-I haven’t heard of the movie and I haven’t heard of Peter O’Toole either. Is this really embarrassing? Should I, as a film student, be ashamed of myself? I’d look him up on IMDd but I don’t feel like it. Maybe he’ll win because he’s old. Or because he’s a good actor. I’m just assuming because of the nomination and all.
Will Smith in Pursuit of Happyness-This being the only movie I have seen in this category I’m pretty biased towards Will winning, though as far as I could tell he just ran around San Francisco a lot. Don’t get me wrong, it’s pretty hilly so that’s nothing to scoff at, but let’s just say this was no I, Robot.
Forest Whitaker in The Last King of Scotland-I’m betting on him as the winner here.

Best Actress
Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada-Everybody said she was fabulous and stole the film. Well, that’s sort of a dubious distinction in this, isn’t it? I mean, mostly the movie made me want fancy purses and to punch Anne Hathaway in the face.
Penélope Cruz in Volver-Hmm… Marcos liked it. I’m not sure if he liked her though… so… yeeeah. [Edit: he liked her. Sooo…… yeeeeeeaaah.)
Judi Dench in Notes on a Scandal-I haven’t seen it (and I hadn’t heard of it ’til this morning when I read a review in the Village Voice but apparently it’s a good movie about Cate Blanchett being creepy and making it with a 15 year old.) I like Judi though.
Helen Mirren in The Queen-I heard she made the movie and Marcos (this is getting sort of pathetic, because I know he’s going to write a better version of this list on his blog) loved her. I suspect she will win.
Kate Winslet in Little Children-I didn’t see it because the trailer had train sounds in it instead of music. It was way too advanced for me. Also, Marcos blah blah blah blah zzzzz.

Others:

Best Supporting Actress
Abigail Breslin in Little Miss Sunshine-I loved her as the kid. I dislike child actors but she actually impressed me. Also she can dance. So hot.

Best Original Screenplay
Little Miss Sunshine-I enjoyed the writing; I thought it accomplished exactly what it set out to do. (Even though it, in my opinion, totally dropped the ball with the “everybody dance on stage” scene. Zzz.)
Pan’s Labyrinth-I hope it wins. It was probably my favorite film I saw this year (in a few years actually) and I thought it handled the real world vs. the fantasy world remarkably well. I couldn’t predict the ending and it dealt with the ambiguity of reality adeptly.

Cinematograhy
Children of Men-It is rare that I really fall in love with the way a futuristic movie looks, but with Children of Men it was instant infatuation. The juxtaposition of a terrifyingly plausible deteriorating city with the remaining idyllic wilderness was impressive.
Pan’s Labyrinth-I… I just like this movie. I want it to win things.

Editing
Children of Men-Apparently those crazy five minute action shots were really separate well-edited sequences. They were brilliant and getting them to look as good as they did deserves recognition.

Art Direction
Pan’s Labyrinth-I have no idea how accurate the setting of the post-Spanish Civil War was but I think it should win for it’s banquet hall scene if nothing else. That monster still makes me want to vomit. Like, in a good way.

Visual Effects
Poseidon-Hahahahaha. *breathes* Hahahahahahahahahahah. No really. Mostly because Fergie drowned. Oh wait… that doesn’t really count as a visual effect, does it? No matter.

Animated Feature
Happy Feet-I really like penguins and I really really like dancing penguins. The writing was sloppy and I think Cars will probably win and that’s alright too. Anything but Monster House.

Foreign Language Film
Pan’s Labyrinth-…Duh.

Documentary
An Inconvenient Truth-I like Al. What can I say. Also, global warming is going to kill us all. We should probably, like, address that.

First World Problems

I was introduced the the concept of First World Problems a few weeks ago by my roommate Alex, who heard the term from his vegan straight-edge friend from D.C. The definition is self-explanitory; they are problems that only people in the first world encounter and consider significant issues. I try to keep this in mind as I continue to complain. Here are a few examples:

• I can’t decide which ice cream flavor to get
• My netflix is late
• My leather shoulder bag strap is slippery and it keeps sliding off my shoulder
• My friend count on facebook went down but I can’t figure out who unfriended me
• The restaurant I’m eating at ran out of the daily special
• Sometimes the subway switches to express when I’m not paying attention
• My cell phone bill is unexpectedly high due to too many text messages
• A new iPod came out and I just bought one, so I feel compelled to upgrade
• My boyfriend points out my typos
• The ATM in the deli charges $1.75 for transactions and you can only withdraw $200 at a time, so if you want more than that, you get charged twice
• My digital camera is only 4 megapixels which is so two years ago
• The pool at my house in the Hamptons isn’t full, so I’ll have walk to the beach if I want to go swimming
• I can’t think of what to blog about, so I am compelled to post filler entries with lists